Tuesday, July 28, 2009

And so it begins...

I was at a baby shower over the weekend and I saw some children that I haven't seen for at least a year. They were so much bigger than I remembered, the change in them was so noticable. I am always surprised when I see someone (esp. a child) a year later and they look different than I remember because somehow I expect them to remain how my memory last captured them.

It was a good reminder that change in life is inevitable. It will not always remain the same. Whether that means starting fresh after leaving your job of 30 years, selling the family business and moving to a different area, a death in the family that has shifted perspective, or a close friend moves to a different state - change will come. Even if you stay in the same job, in the same house for the rest of your life, change will come.

Change is crashing into my life (and many lives around me) as this season of life moves into full-speed. N., one roommate, is getting married on Sunday and will be the first of our house-mates to be moving out. She is moving to TX and while I will see her ocassionally (she is in my wedding in Oct.) I know that things will never be the same. My heart aches and I am not ready to start saying goodbye to the people I love. I know that this is only the beginning...

J., another roommate will be getting married on Aug. 22nd and will be staying in the area. This will not be as much of a stark contrast, I suppose, because she is not home as much as the rest of us. She is the 'popular one' :) ok well we are all popular, of course, but she is popular and busy. She is, however, a strong influence and presence in the house of love and laughter...and another goodbye.
And "the other one!" (sorry had to bring in a house joke) - I have lived with or near K. since 5th grade. We went to school together for 8 years and then to college together for 4 years. We didn't room together in college and I think we are much closer for it. We then lived here together for a little over 3 years now. She is my maid of honor and I am secretly praying that she will someday move to Philly as well (crazier things have happened)!

Wedding planning is coming along but will need to pick up speed in the next month and along with the excitement of getting married, the reality and depth of the change to come will become more tangible. Please don't misunderstand, I can't tell you how excited I am to be getting married and to move to Philly! I know that I am moving into another loving arm of the body of Christ and I know that great things are in store for this journey. But along with the good, there is the hard (I won't say bad).

My boss interviewed three different people today who are applying for my job. The plan is to hire someone a month before I leave so I can help to train them and transfer my cases. That was another wave of reality as I swallowed my pride and watched as the process moved forward.

I know that God is going to humble me greatly in this season and I am looking forward to that because while it will be painful and may leave me a little sore for a while, I know it is good and it is clearly needed. Any transition in life, especially a move like this, will require humility because it means letting go willingly of the things behind and looking forward with trust and confidence in a God who has planned this all along and is not surprised by any of it. I am grateful for a God who is a constant and does not change his character or his location.

He will not move to another place,
I will never move further away from His love.
His relationship will always be personal and intimate,
My love for him will never find another to replace Him.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." -Ps 62:5-6
So as we move on to different things, or different things start happening all around us, we will remember with gratefulness and joy and thank God for his blessings in our life. This weekend will begin a very big transition in my life and while it is scary and full of unknowns, I have confidence that God is present and can see further that I can. I can rest in that.


Carisa said...

Just want you to know how excited we are to welcome you into our little world as a part of the HUGE change you are getting ready to experience. I understood your words fully and pray for you to continue to be such a wise woman through all of this! We are so thankful that your heart is so willing to move forward even when it does hurt to leave the past behind. You are amazing and I am honored to call you a friend!


Carisa said...

Hi again, wanted you to know YOU are the main reason I am taking so many pics and posting them on my blog ;) I want you to see your first home develop!!!

Love you...

Chelle. said...

Totally crying. totally.